doctors Jokes

At my annual checkup, the doctor asked whether I had any unusual symptoms. I said I occasionally forget why I walked into a room, and he nodded sympathetically. Then he asked me…

My dentist said I needed to floss more, so I bought a tiny motivational speaker for my bathroom. Every night, it gives me a five-minute speech about taking control of my life. I…

My dentist said I grind my teeth at night, so I bought a sleep recorder. It captured me whispering, This is the last time I let a dentist sell me anything. Apparently, my subcon…

At the dentist, I tried to answer every question while his hands were in my mouth. He nodded thoughtfully and said my gums looked healthy. That was generous, because I had just …

My optometrist asked whether I had noticed any changes in my vision. I said yes—my bank balance looks much better when I take my glasses off. He said that explained why I had be…

My dentist asked whether I floss regularly. I said, Absolutely—every time I watch a documentary about dental health. He said that was not what he meant, but it was the most educ…

I told my dentist I was nervous about getting a cavity filled. He said it would be painless, quick, and completely routine. Then he asked whether I wanted the good news or the b…

My dentist told me I grind my teeth at night. I said that was impossible because I sleep alone. He said, I know; your teeth filed a noise complaint.

My dentist asked whether I flossed every day. I told him only on days when I had an appointment, because I like to make a good first impression. He said my gums were the only pa…

My dentist said I needed to floss more, so I bought a water flosser, an electric flosser, and a little mirror. At my next appointment, she asked whether I had been flossing. I s…

My dentist asked whether I floss every day. I said I keep the floss beside my bed as a reminder. He said that was nice, but reminders need to be used occasionally.