neighbors Jokes

Our new neighbor introduced himself as a professional sound engineer. I assumed that meant he could identify the strange noise coming from our attic. He listened for ten seconds…

My neighbor installed a doorbell camera and proudly told me it had facial recognition. It keeps labeling me as a delivery driver because I only visit when I’m carrying something…

My new neighbor introduced himself by saying he likes to keep things quiet. I said that was perfect, because my dog only barks at suspicious behavior. The next morning, he insta…

My neighbor borrowed my ladder, drill, and hedge trimmer, then invited me over to admire his new shed. I asked when he planned to return my tools. He said he was waiting for the…

My neighbor installed a motion-sensor light so bright that every time I walk past, his entire house wakes up. Last night, I waved at it just to be polite. Now the light turns on…

My neighbor asked me to watch his house while he was away. I asked what I should do if anything went wrong. He said, Just call me—I enjoy discovering my problems from somewhere …

My neighbor asked if I could watch his house while he was away, so I agreed and spent the weekend checking every window, door, and suspicious shadow. When he returned, he thanke…

My neighbor asked me to watch his house while he was away, so I spent the weekend checking every window, door, and suspicious shadow. When he returned, he asked whether anything…

My neighbor offered to water my plants while I was away, so I gave him detailed instructions and a spare key. When I returned, every plant was thriving, but my living room was f…

My neighbor installed a doorbell camera and now waves at every delivery driver. Yesterday, he waved at a man carrying a ladder and invited him in for coffee. It turns out the ca…

My neighbor knocked on my door and asked if I could keep an eye on his house while he was away. I said sure, so he handed me a spare key and a list of emergency contacts. He ret…

My neighbor installed a doorbell camera and now narrates every delivery like a wildlife documentary. Yesterday he whispered that the rare pizza had arrived, moving cautiously to…

My new neighbor apologized for the noise coming from his apartment every morning. I told him it was fine, but asked what he was doing at six o'clock. He said, Training his parro…