office Jokes

Our office introduced a wellness program and gave everyone a smartwatch to track stress. Mine congratulated me for maintaining a calm heart rate during the meeting. It apparentl…

Our office installed a panic button for urgent problems, but nobody knew what it did. I pressed it during a meeting, and the whole room immediately received a calendar invite ti…

My boss asked me to explain why I missed the deadline, so I made a presentation titled Accountability. It had 42 slides, three charts, and a conclusion I promised to send tomorr…

During my first week at a new office, I asked where the printer was. A coworker pointed down the hall and said, Follow the sound of people whispering apologies. I found it immed…

Our manager introduced a silent meeting to improve productivity. Everyone sat in complete silence for an hour, taking notes and nodding thoughtfully. It was the first meeting wh…

Our manager launched a wellness program and gave everyone a stress ball. I squeezed mine during a meeting, and it exploded foam across the conference table. Management declared …

My manager asked why I keep taking breaks to stare out the window. I said I was using the company’s new focus technique: alternating between deep work and deep concern about bei…

Our office installed a wellness app that measures stress by listening to your voice. I tested it by calmly saying I was perfectly fine, and it immediately scheduled a meeting wi…

During our office fire drill, the manager stopped everyone in the hallway to discuss whether evacuation was aligned with our quarterly goals. Twenty minutes later, we had a five…

My manager asked me to bring more energy to meetings, so I started doing jumping jacks before every video call. Now everyone says I am the most engaging person on the team, most…

My boss said I was being promoted because I had become indispensable. I was touched until I realized he meant nobody else knew how to use the office printer.

At my new office, everyone holds the elevator for each other, even when they are already inside. I finally asked why, and my coworker said it is the only team-building exercise …

My coworker color-codes every meeting on her calendar, then proudly showed me the system. I asked what the bright red section meant. She said, My calendar is warning me that I w…

Our manager asked everyone to stay calm during the office emergency. Then he started running around shouting, Where is the person who knows how to stay calm?

My manager sent a calendar invite titled Quick Chat, so I prepared three slides, a backup plan, and a brief statement for my family. The meeting lasted four minutes. Apparently,…

Our manager announced a mandatory meeting about improving productivity, so everyone arrived early and brought laptops. Forty minutes in, she said the meeting had been so product…

My manager told me to think outside the box, so I moved my chair into the hallway and spent the afternoon brainstorming beside the fire extinguisher. At my review, she said I ha…

My boss introduced a new system designed to eliminate unnecessary meetings. We celebrated by scheduling a meeting to discuss which meetings were unnecessary. It lasted three hou…

During my performance review, my manager asked where I saw myself in five years. I said, Hopefully in a company that still remembers this question. He wrote down ambitious, whic…

My boss asked me to lead a meeting about time management. I spent twenty minutes explaining that I had prepared an agenda, then realized I had sent everyone my grocery list. The…

My boss asked why I was late, so I showed him my calendar, which said Leave by 8:00. He said that was not an explanation. I told him it was the most optimistic meeting on my sch…

My boss called an emergency meeting because someone had been using company time to solve personal problems. We all panicked until he admitted the problem was his printer, which …

My manager told me to think outside the box, so I moved my desk into the hallway. He said I had misunderstood and ordered me back inside. I apologized to the box; it had been do…