technology Jokes

My internet keeps dropping every evening, so I called support. The agent had me restart the router, check every device, and move closer to the signal. Then I realized the proble…

I bought a smart fridge that tracks expiration dates and suggests recipes. After analyzing my eating habits for a week, it stopped recommending dinner and started recommending a…

I called customer service because my smart speaker kept answering questions I had never asked. The representative told me to unplug it and see whether the problem continued. I d…

I asked my smart speaker to help me relax. It dimmed the lights, played ocean sounds, and ordered me a replacement router. Apparently, even my anxiety has a loading screen.

I installed a doorbell camera to find out who kept stealing my packages. It identified the culprit in one day and sent me a notification: Me, three weeks ago, ordering more pack…

I called tech support because my new printer refused to print. The agent asked whether it was connected to my computer, and I said yes, emotionally, but we had been drifting apa…

My phone now reminds me to stand up every hour. I ignored it for three days, so it escalated to a calendar invite titled Please become a person.

My family changed the Wi-Fi password to something only we would know. I tried our address, birthdays, and the dog’s name, but nothing worked. Then my mother gave me the password…

My smart fridge sent me a notification saying I had not opened the vegetable drawer in eleven days. I told it I had been busy, and it replied, So are the vegetables.

I bought a smart alarm clock that learns my sleep habits. After three nights, it stopped ringing and started calling my mother.

I returned a fitness tracker because it kept judging me. The clerk asked what it said. Nothing—the screen just displayed my daily step count, which was apparently the most hones…

I bought a smart speaker that promised to learn my preferences. After one week, it started playing calming music whenever I opened my banking app. Apparently, it had learned tha…

My smart fridge sent me a notification saying I had opened the door six times without taking anything. I told it I was just thinking. The next morning, it had installed a tiny o…

My smart fridge started sending me reminders to eat healthier. Yesterday, it scanned my leftover cake and asked whether I wanted to schedule a meeting with my doctor. I unplugge…

My laptop forced me to change my password because it said my old one was too weak. I tried every variation of my childhood pet’s name, my birthday, and the word password, but th…

My new smart thermostat asked if I was home, so I said yes. It lowered the temperature, locked the app, and sent me a notification: Great, then you can get up and fix it yourself.

I bought a smart doorbell that recognizes faces and announces deliveries. It has learned to distinguish my family from strangers, but it still calls me Unknown Person every time…

I bought a smart doorbell that recognizes everyone who visits my house. Yesterday, it sent me an alert saying, Unfamiliar person detected on your porch. It was me, and honestly,…

My smart fridge started sending me wellness reminders. First it suggested more vegetables, then more water, and finally it locked the door until I made eye contact with a carrot.

I bought a smart scale that connects to my phone and tracks my progress. After one week, the app stopped showing my weight and started recommending nearby furniture stores. Appa…

My smart fridge has started judging my eating habits. Every time I open it after midnight, the light comes on and the camera points straight at the leftover cake. I do not need …

I installed a smart lock that recognizes everyone who enters my house. Yesterday, it looked at me, paused, and asked for identification. Even my front door thinks I am just the …

I returned a smart toaster because it kept asking me to confirm I was human before making toast. Customer service said that was a security feature. I said, Great—then why does i…