technology Jokes

I called customer service because my new smart fridge kept judging my groceries. The representative asked whether I had tried turning it off and on again. I said yes, but now it…

I called tech support because my smart speaker had stopped listening to me. The technician asked me to say the wake word, and I did; nothing happened. He said it may have finall…

I bought a smart speaker to make my mornings more efficient. Now, whenever I ask it to set a timer, it reminds me that I have been waiting three years for my partner to change.

I installed smart lights that turn on whenever they hear me come home. Now I spend every evening standing outside, whispering encouragement through the window. The neighbors thi…

My phone’s face recognition stopped recognizing me after I grew a beard. I shaved, wore the same shirt, and stood under the same lamp, but it still demanded proof of identity. A…

My smart fridge started reminding me to buy vegetables. Then it tracked my late-night snacks and sent a report to my fitness app. I unplugged it, and it said, Great, now we can …

I bought a smart speaker to make my home feel more modern. On the first day, I asked it to play something relaxing, and it started reading my bank balance. Apparently, its idea …

My smart speaker has started judging my choices. Yesterday, I asked it to play relaxing music, and it paused for three seconds before suggesting a podcast about getting your lif…

My smart fridge sent me a notification saying I had been standing in front of it for three minutes. I replied that I was not indecisive; I was waiting for it to suggest somethin…

My neighbor installed a smart doorbell that identifies everyone who visits. Yesterday, it announced, Unknown person, poor decision-making skills. Now I avoid ringing it because …

My smartwatch started reminding me to stand up every hour. I obeyed, but now it also reminds me to breathe, drink water, and call my mother. Apparently I did not buy a smartwatc…

My phone suggested I turn on Do Not Disturb during my commute. I ignored it because I like being available for emergencies. Five minutes later, it blocked a call from my mother …

I called customer service because my new alarm clock kept apologizing before it rang. The agent asked whether I had checked the manual, and I said yes—it says, If the problem pe…

My phone suggested I take a break because I had been staring at the screen for six hours. I ignored it, naturally; I do not take life advice from something that needs charging t…

I called customer service because my smart vacuum kept getting stuck under the sofa. The agent asked whether I had tried turning it off and on again. I said yes, but now it just…

I set my phone to grayscale to reduce my screen time. Now I spend even longer staring at it, trying to find the color.

My smart speaker has started answering questions I have not asked. Yesterday I walked into the kitchen and it said I looked tired. I unplugged it, but now the toaster is making …

My new refrigerator sends me a notification every time I open the door. After a week, it stopped suggesting healthier snacks and started sending me job listings. Apparently, eve…

My smart fridge started ordering groceries without asking. Customer service told me to unplug it, so I did—and it immediately ordered a new extension cord. Apparently, the only …

I returned my smart speaker because it kept misunderstanding me. When I asked for relaxing music, it ordered a yoga mat and scheduled me for therapy.

My new robot vacuum kept getting stuck under the sofa, so I called customer service. The agent told me to move the furniture, clear the floor, and build a small ramp. At that po…

My smart fridge sent me a notification saying I was opening the door too often. I changed its settings to private, but it immediately emailed my doctor, my grocery store, and my…

My smart thermostat kept changing the temperature by itself, so I called customer service. They said it was learning my preferences. By Friday, it had set the house to 62 degree…