technology Jokes

My smartwatch has become extremely encouraging. Yesterday it congratulated me for standing up, and I felt proud until I realized it had mistaken dropping my phone for a fitness …

My smart doorbell sent me an alert saying, Person detected. I opened the app and saw myself standing on the porch. Then it asked whether I wanted to report suspicious activity.

I bought a smart fridge that tracks everything I eat and sends helpful health suggestions. After three days, it stopped recommending vegetables and started hiding the leftovers.…

I bought a smart fridge that tracks expiration dates, calories, and everything I eat. This morning it sent me a notification saying, Please stop opening the door to see if your …

My smart fridge sent me a notification saying I was opening it too often. I changed its settings to silent mode, and now it turns on the kitchen lights every time I walk past. A…

My phone asked me to set up emergency contacts, so I added my sister, my doctor, and the person who knows where I put my phone. It rejected the last one because apparently I’m n…

I bought a smart speaker to simplify my life, but it misunderstood every request. When customer service asked me to describe the problem, I said it was listening to everything. …

My fitness app congratulated me for walking 10,000 steps yesterday. I checked the map and discovered I had spent twenty minutes looking for my phone while holding it. Finally, t…

My smart fridge sent me a notification saying I was running low on vegetables. I opened it to check, and it immediately ordered a salad. At last, a device that knows my eating h…

My phone tracks my sleep, steps, heart rate, and screen time. Yesterday it warned me that I spend too much time staring at it. I am waiting for it to develop the courage to call…

I bought a smart fridge that tracks everything I eat and sends helpful notifications. Yesterday, it asked whether I really needed another slice of cake. I said yes, and it repli…

My smart doorbell recognizes familiar faces. Yesterday, it saw me on the porch, unlocked the door, and immediately called my mother. Apparently, it recognizes danger, too.

I installed smart lights that turn on whenever they sense movement. Now every time I get up at night, the hallway lights come on and announce my presence to the whole house. I d…

I called customer service because my new smart fridge kept judging my groceries. The representative asked whether I had tried turning it off and on again. I said yes, but now it…

I called tech support because my smart speaker had stopped listening to me. The technician asked me to say the wake word, and I did; nothing happened. He said it may have finall…

I downloaded a meditation app to reduce my screen time. It congratulated me for completing a five-minute breathing exercise, then sent me twelve notifications asking how I felt …

I bought a smart speaker to make my mornings more efficient. Now, whenever I ask it to set a timer, it reminds me that I have been waiting three years for my partner to change.

I installed smart lights that turn on whenever they hear me come home. Now I spend every evening standing outside, whispering encouragement through the window. The neighbors thi…

My phone’s face recognition stopped recognizing me after I grew a beard. I shaved, wore the same shirt, and stood under the same lamp, but it still demanded proof of identity. A…

My smart fridge started reminding me to buy vegetables. Then it tracked my late-night snacks and sent a report to my fitness app. I unplugged it, and it said, Great, now we can …

I bought a smart speaker to make my home feel more modern. On the first day, I asked it to play something relaxing, and it started reading my bank balance. Apparently, its idea …

My smart speaker has started judging my choices. Yesterday, I asked it to play relaxing music, and it paused for three seconds before suggesting a podcast about getting your lif…

My smart fridge sent me a notification saying I had been standing in front of it for three minutes. I replied that I was not indecisive; I was waiting for it to suggest somethin…