technology Jokes

I called customer service because my new alarm clock was too judgmental. They asked how I knew. It only rings on weekdays, so apparently it has a job and I do not.

My mom changed the Wi-Fi password after my brother gave it to all his friends. When I asked what the new password was, she said, 'You should know it—it’s your birthday.' I tried…

My phone suggested I take a break from screens, so I put it face down and went outside. Within five minutes, it sent an emergency alert to my smartwatch. Apparently, my devices …

My smart fridge started sending me reminders to buy healthier food. I unplugged it, and now it just silently judges me with a light every time I open the door.

My smart doorbell is extremely cautious. Yesterday it alerted me that someone familiar was at the door, so I rushed home; when I arrived, it asked me to prove I lived there. App…

I called customer service to report that my new smart toaster was ignoring me. The agent asked whether I had tried turning it off and on again. I said yes, but now it just flash…

I set my phone to remind me to drink more water. It now sends the reminder while I’m in the shower, which feels less like health coaching and more like surveillance from a very …

I bought a robot vacuum to make my home look more organized. It spent ten minutes circling one sock, then stopped beside it like it had scheduled a meeting to discuss the problem.

My smartwatch congratulated me for standing up twelve times yesterday. I was touched until I realized eleven of those were just me checking whether it had congratulated me.

My smart speaker reminded me to set a budget, so I asked it to stop judging my purchases. It paused for three seconds and recommended a louder speaker.

I bought a smart lock that recognizes my face, but it unlocked for me only once and spent the rest of the week asking for proof I still lived there. Apparently, even my front do…

My phone warned me that its storage was almost full, so I deleted two thousand photos. It immediately asked whether I wanted to recover them from Recently Deleted. Apparently, e…

My calendar app suggested I schedule time to relax, so I blocked off an hour and felt very organized. Then it sent me three reminders, marked me late, and asked whether I wanted…

My smart fridge started judging my eating habits, so I called customer service. The representative asked what it had said, then put me on hold for three minutes. When she came b…

I installed a smart thermostat that learns my habits. Now it lowers the temperature whenever I open my bank app, so at least one device understands financial panic.

I bought a smart fridge that sends alerts when my food is about to expire. This morning, it started sending reminders about my life choices. I unplugged it, and now it just judg…

My smart doorbell now sends me an alert every time someone approaches the house. Yesterday, it notified me that I was standing outside my own front door. I had to let it in beca…

My smart doorbell recognizes every delivery driver, but not me. Apparently, I need to arrive holding a package before my own house considers me trustworthy.

I bought a smart doorbell that recognizes everyone who visits, so I trained it to identify my family. Now whenever I come home, it sends me a notification saying, You again? Eve…

My parents asked me to set up a family password, so I chose something everyone could remember. They rejected our Wi-Fi password because apparently nobody remembers it, including…

I gave my smart speaker a chore list, and it completed none of it—but now it reminds me every morning that I’m falling behind. I didn’t buy a home assistant; I bought a tiny roo…

I bought a smart refrigerator that sends alerts when food is about to expire. Yesterday it warned me about a container in the back, so I opened it wearing gloves. The fridge imm…

My friend bought a smart fridge that tracks everything he eats and sends him weekly health reports. Last night, it refused to open the freezer until he took a walk. His applianc…