technology Jokes

My phone’s health app congratulated me for walking 10,000 steps. I told it most of them happened in the supermarket while I tried to remember why I went in. It rewarded me with …

My smart fridge sent me a notification saying I had left the door open. I replied that I was still deciding what to eat. It sent back: Take your time—I have already judged your …

My phone updated overnight and asked me to accept 47 new permissions. I said no, so it immediately changed my wallpaper to a picture of me looking disappointed. Apparently, it d…

I bought a smart refrigerator that sends me a notification every time I open the door. After a week, it stopped tracking the snacks and started sending progress reports to my fa…

My smart fridge started sending reminders to buy vegetables. I unplugged it, and now it just judges me silently, which is exactly how my family used to do it, but with better Wi…

My smart fridge started sending me reminders to buy vegetables. I called customer service, and they asked whether I had tried turning it off and on again. I said yes, but now it…

My phone started giving me weekly screen-time reports, so I confronted it about how much of my life it was stealing. It showed me the report, then suggested I take a break and g…

My smartwatch tracks my sleep, stress, heart rate, and how often I stand up. Yesterday it congratulated me for walking to the kitchen. At this point, I am not wearing technology…

My phone warned me I was running out of storage, so I deleted 2,000 photos. It immediately said I had freed enough space for 14,000 more. Apparently, even my phone believes I am…

I bought a smart doorbell that recognizes faces and sends alerts to my phone. Yesterday it warned me about a suspicious person approaching, so I checked the camera and saw mysel…

I bought a smart speaker for my kitchen and spent an hour teaching it my voice. Now it recognizes every command perfectly, but still ignores me when I ask it to play something r…

I called customer service because my smart refrigerator kept ordering groceries I never wanted. The agent said it had learned my preferences. Apparently, my fridge knows me well…

I bought a voice assistant for my kitchen to help me cook. I asked how long to boil an egg, and it reminded me that I had searched that three times already. I did not buy an ass…

I called customer service because my new alarm clock was too judgmental. They asked how I knew. It only rings on weekdays, so apparently it has a job and I do not.

My mom changed the Wi-Fi password after my brother gave it to all his friends. When I asked what the new password was, she said, 'You should know it—it’s your birthday.' I tried…

I called customer service because my smart speaker had started judging my life choices. The representative asked me to unplug it, then put me on hold so the speaker could explai…

My phone suggested I take a break from screens, so I put it face down and went outside. Within five minutes, it sent an emergency alert to my smartwatch. Apparently, my devices …

My smart fridge started sending me reminders to buy healthier food. I unplugged it, and now it just silently judges me with a light every time I open the door.

My smart doorbell is extremely cautious. Yesterday it alerted me that someone familiar was at the door, so I rushed home; when I arrived, it asked me to prove I lived there. App…

I called customer service to report that my new smart toaster was ignoring me. The agent asked whether I had tried turning it off and on again. I said yes, but now it just flash…

I set my phone to remind me to drink more water. It now sends the reminder while I’m in the shower, which feels less like health coaching and more like surveillance from a very …

I bought a robot vacuum to make my home look more organized. It spent ten minutes circling one sock, then stopped beside it like it had scheduled a meeting to discuss the problem.

My smartwatch congratulated me for standing up twelve times yesterday. I was touched until I realized eleven of those were just me checking whether it had congratulated me.