The Internet's Sharpest Humor Archive.

I called customer service because my smart speaker kept misunderstanding me. The representative said, Please try speaking more clearly, so I whispered my problem—and now the spe…

I bought a smart refrigerator that sends me a notification every time I open the door. After a week, it stopped tracking the snacks and started sending progress reports to my fa…

My smart fridge started sending reminders to buy vegetables. I unplugged it, and now it just judges me silently, which is exactly how my family used to do it, but with better Wi…

I called customer service because my new printer kept making a disappointed noise. The agent asked me to run a test page, and it printed a report saying, Please stop calling us …

I called customer service because the self-checkout charged me twice for one bag of oranges. The representative apologized and said they could refund one purchase, but first I h…

My manager told me to think outside the box, so I moved my chair into the hallway and spent the afternoon brainstorming beside the fire extinguisher. At my review, she said I ha…

I called customer service because my smart fridge kept judging my groceries. The agent asked whether I had tried unplugging it, so I did. Now it just sends my mother updates thr…

My smart fridge started sending me reminders to buy vegetables. I called customer service, and they asked whether I had tried turning it off and on again. I said yes, but now it…

My neighbor saw me carrying groceries and offered to help, then asked if I needed anything else. I said, Actually, could you take the trash out too? He smiled and said, Of cours…

I called customer service to cancel a gym membership I had not used in three years. The representative asked why I was leaving, so I said I wanted a place with less pressure. Sh…

I called customer service because my new alarm clock kept going off at 6 a.m., even after I changed the time zone. The agent asked me to describe the problem, so I told her it w…

I called customer service to report that my internet had been down all morning. The representative put me on hold, and after forty minutes the music stopped. That was the first …

My phone started giving me weekly screen-time reports, so I confronted it about how much of my life it was stealing. It showed me the report, then suggested I take a break and g…

I called my internet provider to report an outage, and the representative asked me to describe the problem in one word. I said, Offline. She replied, Perfect—your message has be…

My smartwatch tracks my sleep, stress, heart rate, and how often I stand up. Yesterday it congratulated me for walking to the kitchen. At this point, I am not wearing technology…

I called tech support because my smart fridge kept sending me notifications. The agent asked what they said, and I told her, Mostly reminders that I was out of food. She said, T…

I returned a blender because it made a strange noise whenever I turned it on. The cashier tested it, listened carefully, and approved the refund. Apparently, it was just reactin…

I bought my cat a smart feeder that opens only when it recognizes her face. It has rejected me six times, but somehow serves her perfectly whenever she wears a paper bag.

My manager told me to bring more passion to my work, so I started whispering encouraging compliments to the printer. It still jams whenever I walk past, but now it does it with …

A man called customer service to complain that his new alarm clock was too loud. The agent asked whether he had tried turning it down. He said yes, but then it started whisperin…

My grandfather bought a smartwatch that tracked his steps, sleep, and heart rate. He returned it because it kept congratulating him every time he stood up. At his age, he does n…

I called customer service because my new vacuum cleaner kept stopping after ten seconds. The representative asked whether anything unusual happened before it stopped. I said, Ye…

I called customer service because my new alarm clock kept going off at 6 a.m. The agent asked whether I had tried changing the time. I said I was hoping to negotiate with it fir…